I am not even going to attempt to tell his life story. What I will do, is share a bit of his heart... he loved his wife, he loved his children. He was so proud to be a father. He spoke of his girls with love and great anguish that he was not a solid part of their lives. His girls were his heart. As a teenager, I grew up from a divorced family and did not have my biological father in my life. I know the anger, the confusion, the frustration, the hatred, the need for answers, the need to confront him and challenge him on his decision making process. However, now that I am in my 40's and have children of my own, I have grown up and learned about compassion, sacrafices and painful decisions that I, myself, can never live down. I have forgiven my father. And my mother. And my step-father. There were a lot of players in my life and they caused me much grief regarding my feelings towards my father. I know Shaun had great distress at not being involved more in his girls' lives. I would try to console his grieving heart by telling him that his girls would understand more as they got older, and that they would come around and warm to him, to want to get to know him, to be with him. He was so excited about seeing his daughter that summer and was hopeful to reunite with his other. He loved his girls so very much. Tonight at bed time, in saying "good nights" and "I love yous", my daughter told me that she loves me more than I love her. I told her that no matter how much a child loves a parent, the parent will always love the child more than that. I told her that I never knew true love until becoming a parent... and that no matter what... that love NEVER goes away. I have also told them that no matter how angry I may get at them, my love for them is far more than my anger could ever be. I am writing this because Shaun was a parent as well. And once you are a parent, that should be your life. There are instances when, unfortunately, actuallly being involved with the chilren is not a reality. But that in no way means that because your chilren are not ~in~ your life, that they are not your life... if nothing else, ... your children are ~ in your heart. Forever. ~
